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Ich bin kein Tech-Support. Ich bin nicht mal besonders hilfreich.
Aber wenn du mir schreiben willst, okay. Vielleicht passiert was Magisches.
Vielleicht fällt dein Laptop einfach aus dem Fenster.
Antworten? Kommt drauf an. Gibt’s Geld? Gratis Pizza? Einen Gutschein für eine
Taxifahrt irgendwohin, wo ich nicht angesprochen werde? Nein? Dann mal sehen.
Das Leben ist unfair. Ich weiß es, du weißt es, und trotzdem tun wir alle so,
als wäre es anders. **„Goddamn right, it's a beautiful day.“** – EELS, 2003
Falls du mir eine Mail schreibst und dich fragst, ob ich sie lese:
Stell dir vor, du stehst an einer Straße. Ein Auto fährt vorbei. War’s rot oder blau?
War es überhaupt ein Auto oder ein verdammter Bus? Genau so fühlt es sich an,
wenn ich eine Mail bekomme.
Aber hey, no risk, no fun.
„History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.“ – Winston Churchill.
(Hat nichts mit dieser Seite zu tun, aber klingt cool.)
I'm not tech support. I’m not even that helpful.
But if you wanna email me, go for it. Maybe something magical will happen.
Maybe your laptop will just fly out the window.
Will I reply? Depends. Is there money involved? Free pizza?
A gift card for a taxi ride somewhere I won’t be talked to? No?
Then let’s see.
Life is unfair. I know it, you know it, and yet we all pretend otherwise.
**„Goddamn right, it's a beautiful day.“** – EELS, 2003
If you send me an email and wonder if I’ll read it,
imagine you’re standing by a road. A car passes by.
Was it red or blue? Was it even a car?
That’s what it feels like when I get an email.
But hey, no risk, no fun.
„History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.“ – Winston Churchill.
(This has absolutely nothing to do with this website, but it sounds badass.)
Listen, I ain’t tech support. I don’t work for customer service.
If you got a complaint, you can write it down, fold it into a paper plane,
and throw it into the nearest tornado.
Will I respond? That depends. Is there cash involved? Free burgers?
A voucher for one (1) stress-free day? No? Then we’ll see.
Life is a scam. We all know it. And yet, somehow, I still get out of bed.
**„Goddamn right, it's a beautiful day.“** – EELS, 2003
If you email me and wonder if I’ll read it, imagine this:
You’re walking down the street. A dude in a chicken costume runs past you.
Was he holding a sandwich or a grenade? Was he even real?
That’s what it’s like when I get an email.
But hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
And 99% of the emails I don’t answer.
„History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.“ – Winston Churchill.
(I don’t know why this is here. But it makes me sound important.)
Sponsored by absolutely no one.
No ads, no sponsors, no sugar daddies. Just pure nonsense.
🌍 **Globe GIF sourced from Wikimedia Commons.**
🇺🇸 **Flags from public domain SVG sources.**
🛠 **100% handmade. No AI, no automation. Just my weird brain.**
🕰 **Started in 2020, published in 2024, because… why not?**
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Luca Chiocchetti
6067 Absam, Österreich
© 2020 eleluggi
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All content on this site is purely satirical and for entertainment purposes only.
If you think anything here is a serious fact, then you are in the wrong place. This Website has no tracking and uses no Cookies.
Everything on this page is satire. **You think I’m serious? Hell no.**
Nothing here should be fact-checked, reported, or used in a court of law.
Unless, of course, you’re trying to lose that case. This Website has no tracking and uses no Cookies.
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